Hoi ’An was by far the best place to spend the Tet holiday and thus far has been our favorite place in Vietnam. We spent a day at the “Hidden” Beach just down from Cua Dai Beach. All that was there was one restaurant and a few other tourists reclining on sunbeds. I would recommend reaching it by bike and not on foot. Then we spent a day biking through the rice paddy fields surrounding the city and taking in the scenic views. Each day we spent a good amount of time at one of two restaurants, Morning Glory and Baby Mustard.
The next day’s sites were a disappointment, but my brother provided us some great entertainment. He had never driven a scooter before and allowed us all to be there for his maiden voyage. We rented scooters from the hotel to go to Marble Mountain (not worth the trip). Tim practiced a bit before Maya jumped on the back. Luckily, I caught the whole thing on video and hope to share it on here once I update my site. Watching the video back made me cringe because you can see the moment that he injured his hip and knee. The first turns you make on a scooter can be tough and his were. Once on the road he did fine. We got to the hill, I mean mountain, and debated if it was even worth paying the foreigner rate to climb to the top. Maya and I did. Of course Maya didn’t have to pay, since everyone thinks she is Vietnamese. There were some caves, a temple, and a pagoda. We didn’t have time to explore all the caves, but one of them was pretty interesting. Supposedly during the war it was used as a Vietcong hospital. Now the cave has many shrines with candles adorning all four walls. Back in the city we celebrated that we had all survived the day’s trip.
Maya and I spent the next day at our favorite restaurant, Baby Mustard, for a half day cooking class. The owner is a 25 year old woman named Nguyet (“Wit”) and she is so full of life. We enjoyed her personality and company just as much as the cooking. We started off going to the day market where she taught us how to select shrimp (If they are clear, it means they are from that day’s catch), what fruits and herbs can be combined for different remedies, and just general knowledge about the produce we saw. Back at her restaurant she gave us a tour of the property which produces all the restaurant’s herbs and many of its vegetables. All I can say is I hope I can grow lemon grass, lemon basil, and Thai basil when I get home. She taught me how to make vegetarian Banh Xeo (Vietnamese pancakes), lotus stuffed tofu, and water spinach. Maya learned how to make traditional Banh Xeo, a chicken dish, and barbeque pork. After each dish we sat and ate our creations. Nguyet’s mother delivered a “secret” drink containing passion fruit and basil seeds, and we took in the peaceful surroundings with our new friend. She spoke a mile a minute and told us about her excitement over being 3.5 months pregnant, how her parents were worried she was getting married too young (she got married 4 months ago), and how she thinks her husband is strict but she is still free in her mind. The farm and land on which the restaurant sits belongs to her parents, so she splits her profits with them. Her staff includes her aunt, grandmother, brother, and mother. She learned traditional cooking from her grandmother and modern cooking from her father. She feels her restaurant is a fusion of the two. It is so impressive what she has created. The restaurant is beautiful and has the most peaceful ambience. It is obvious she dedicates a lot of time to ensuring her food is fresh and high quality. She is phenomenal.
While we made the Vietnamese pancakes she explained that 100 grams of meat would be divided up into pancakes to feed 6 Vietnamese people. At her restaurant she serves about 100 grams for one person, since she knows we are meat crazy in the west. She said she had one customer complain that the 100 grams of fish in his soup wasn’t enough. The pancakes that Maya was making had so much shrimp and pork on Vietnamese standards that Nguyet called them luxury pancakes. It goes to show you that many of the traditional recipes were created out of necessity and limited resources.
Later that day we met Maya down town after a bike ride. Since she didn’t have a bike, she needed to ride on the back of Tim’s. It was absolutely hilarious to witness my brother’s potential to bare offspring decrease as he jostled down the street with his wife half-hazardly burrowed into his back. The entire ride home they wobbled along taking all turns at an abnormally wide berth. Once back at the hotel there was another cause for celebration.
Our last day before taking a taxi to Da Nang, we stopped in to have one last meal with Nguyet. She was shocked to see us and sat with us for almost two hours. Maya and Tim kept saying, “This is a Go Pro moment.” I wish I had that conversation on film. She was so open and honest. She told us how she got pregnant within a week of being married. Before the wedding she tried to ask her mother and friends about sex and all of them couldn’t offer her any guidance. She didn’t know how things worked and supposedly her husband didn’t either. I don’t think I can do her justice by writing down the conversation. She didn’t sound ridiculous, just innocent and oh so cute.
Her mother got pregnant at 19, before getting married. Nguyet grew up believing that her parents had only done the deed once. It wasn’t until she was married that her husband told her that many things her parents had told her weren’t true. She feels she has a new mind now that she went to university and has gotten married. Many of the naiveties of childhood have been thrown out. She giggled and explained that in Vietnam people believe it is important for a man to love a woman less than 50% in his heart, 80% in his mind, and 100% in his special region. That one almost brought Maya to tears. I guess the rationale is that love in the heart will fade and then the man may leave you. We covered a lot of ground in two hours, but the part of the conversation about sex was really interesting. She insinuated that her mother-in-law had to give her husband guidance in how to perform and how to make things “good” for her. She said that their honeymoon was like a fun job and that at one point she just said, “That’s enough.” The overall impression was that sex education isn’t a thing here and that local traditions and superstitions are still taken very seriously.
It seemed that there are very strict roles wives must fill. Now that she is married her in-laws want her to dress fashionably, wear make-up, and to give birth specifically to a boy first. If she has a girl, her parents will become wealthy. If she has a boy, her in-laws will become wealthy. Her in-laws found it unacceptable for the new couple to live with her parents, so they are forced to live in a house independently of her family even though their house is on the property next to the restaurant. It sounds like the in-laws are more demanding than I would put up with. She spoke of the fact that as a child she was only allowed to wear white and now that she is married she wears different colors, but only the clothes her husband picks. Amongst all these rules and restrictions, her bright independence still shines through. She winked and said, “I am sassy. I don’t care what clothes go on my body. I don’t need make-up!”
Hoi'An provided us with a relaxing atmosphere full of good food. In the end it was Nguyet that made our time so special. I am glad my brother and sister were here to share it.
The next day’s sites were a disappointment, but my brother provided us some great entertainment. He had never driven a scooter before and allowed us all to be there for his maiden voyage. We rented scooters from the hotel to go to Marble Mountain (not worth the trip). Tim practiced a bit before Maya jumped on the back. Luckily, I caught the whole thing on video and hope to share it on here once I update my site. Watching the video back made me cringe because you can see the moment that he injured his hip and knee. The first turns you make on a scooter can be tough and his were. Once on the road he did fine. We got to the hill, I mean mountain, and debated if it was even worth paying the foreigner rate to climb to the top. Maya and I did. Of course Maya didn’t have to pay, since everyone thinks she is Vietnamese. There were some caves, a temple, and a pagoda. We didn’t have time to explore all the caves, but one of them was pretty interesting. Supposedly during the war it was used as a Vietcong hospital. Now the cave has many shrines with candles adorning all four walls. Back in the city we celebrated that we had all survived the day’s trip.
Maya and I spent the next day at our favorite restaurant, Baby Mustard, for a half day cooking class. The owner is a 25 year old woman named Nguyet (“Wit”) and she is so full of life. We enjoyed her personality and company just as much as the cooking. We started off going to the day market where she taught us how to select shrimp (If they are clear, it means they are from that day’s catch), what fruits and herbs can be combined for different remedies, and just general knowledge about the produce we saw. Back at her restaurant she gave us a tour of the property which produces all the restaurant’s herbs and many of its vegetables. All I can say is I hope I can grow lemon grass, lemon basil, and Thai basil when I get home. She taught me how to make vegetarian Banh Xeo (Vietnamese pancakes), lotus stuffed tofu, and water spinach. Maya learned how to make traditional Banh Xeo, a chicken dish, and barbeque pork. After each dish we sat and ate our creations. Nguyet’s mother delivered a “secret” drink containing passion fruit and basil seeds, and we took in the peaceful surroundings with our new friend. She spoke a mile a minute and told us about her excitement over being 3.5 months pregnant, how her parents were worried she was getting married too young (she got married 4 months ago), and how she thinks her husband is strict but she is still free in her mind. The farm and land on which the restaurant sits belongs to her parents, so she splits her profits with them. Her staff includes her aunt, grandmother, brother, and mother. She learned traditional cooking from her grandmother and modern cooking from her father. She feels her restaurant is a fusion of the two. It is so impressive what she has created. The restaurant is beautiful and has the most peaceful ambience. It is obvious she dedicates a lot of time to ensuring her food is fresh and high quality. She is phenomenal.
While we made the Vietnamese pancakes she explained that 100 grams of meat would be divided up into pancakes to feed 6 Vietnamese people. At her restaurant she serves about 100 grams for one person, since she knows we are meat crazy in the west. She said she had one customer complain that the 100 grams of fish in his soup wasn’t enough. The pancakes that Maya was making had so much shrimp and pork on Vietnamese standards that Nguyet called them luxury pancakes. It goes to show you that many of the traditional recipes were created out of necessity and limited resources.
Later that day we met Maya down town after a bike ride. Since she didn’t have a bike, she needed to ride on the back of Tim’s. It was absolutely hilarious to witness my brother’s potential to bare offspring decrease as he jostled down the street with his wife half-hazardly burrowed into his back. The entire ride home they wobbled along taking all turns at an abnormally wide berth. Once back at the hotel there was another cause for celebration.
Our last day before taking a taxi to Da Nang, we stopped in to have one last meal with Nguyet. She was shocked to see us and sat with us for almost two hours. Maya and Tim kept saying, “This is a Go Pro moment.” I wish I had that conversation on film. She was so open and honest. She told us how she got pregnant within a week of being married. Before the wedding she tried to ask her mother and friends about sex and all of them couldn’t offer her any guidance. She didn’t know how things worked and supposedly her husband didn’t either. I don’t think I can do her justice by writing down the conversation. She didn’t sound ridiculous, just innocent and oh so cute.
Her mother got pregnant at 19, before getting married. Nguyet grew up believing that her parents had only done the deed once. It wasn’t until she was married that her husband told her that many things her parents had told her weren’t true. She feels she has a new mind now that she went to university and has gotten married. Many of the naiveties of childhood have been thrown out. She giggled and explained that in Vietnam people believe it is important for a man to love a woman less than 50% in his heart, 80% in his mind, and 100% in his special region. That one almost brought Maya to tears. I guess the rationale is that love in the heart will fade and then the man may leave you. We covered a lot of ground in two hours, but the part of the conversation about sex was really interesting. She insinuated that her mother-in-law had to give her husband guidance in how to perform and how to make things “good” for her. She said that their honeymoon was like a fun job and that at one point she just said, “That’s enough.” The overall impression was that sex education isn’t a thing here and that local traditions and superstitions are still taken very seriously.
It seemed that there are very strict roles wives must fill. Now that she is married her in-laws want her to dress fashionably, wear make-up, and to give birth specifically to a boy first. If she has a girl, her parents will become wealthy. If she has a boy, her in-laws will become wealthy. Her in-laws found it unacceptable for the new couple to live with her parents, so they are forced to live in a house independently of her family even though their house is on the property next to the restaurant. It sounds like the in-laws are more demanding than I would put up with. She spoke of the fact that as a child she was only allowed to wear white and now that she is married she wears different colors, but only the clothes her husband picks. Amongst all these rules and restrictions, her bright independence still shines through. She winked and said, “I am sassy. I don’t care what clothes go on my body. I don’t need make-up!”
Hoi'An provided us with a relaxing atmosphere full of good food. In the end it was Nguyet that made our time so special. I am glad my brother and sister were here to share it.
